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Halloween Jokes

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There's something spooky going on in the old manor, it has been infested with ghosts! Shaggy & Scooby need your help to clean this place up.

After having a laugh, check out our collection of Halloween Games.

For more holiday fun, visit our main Halloween page and learn about the history of Halloween. Find fun activities like Halloween videos, recipes, and Halloween coloring pages.
Q: Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A: Because everyone was a goblin!
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music?
A: Rap music.
Q: Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A: MaliBOO!
Q: What does a bird say at Halloween?
A: "Twick or tweet."
Q: Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A: A scare center!
Q: What key opens a Haunted House?
A: A spooKEY!
Q: Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A: He was a pain in the neck!
Q: Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend.
Q: What does a panda ghost eat?
A: Bam-BOO!
Q: What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A: Fang mail.
Q: What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A: His transparents.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A: Lazy bones!
Q: What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A: "Spook when you're spooken to."
Q: What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A: A nectarine.
Q: What pants do ghosts wear?
A: BOO jeans.
Q: What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A: A mop.
Q: Why did the mummy get a headache?
A: Because he was GOBLIN his candy!
Q: Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A: The BOO-hamas!
Q: What is the problem with two twin witches?
A: You never know which witch is which!
Q: What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?
A: A chicken sand witch.
Q: What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A: A pumpkin patch.
Q: Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A: Because you can see right through him.
Q: Who won the zombie war?
A: Nobody, it was dead even.
Q: Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn't have the guts.
Q: What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A: A wide scream TV.
Q: What school subject is a witch good at?
A: Spelling.
Q: What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A: "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."
Q: Why did Dracula go to the library?
A: He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!
Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: I scream.
Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away her W.
Q: Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A: Because he wanted to get some muscles!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A: Because he had no body to go with.
Q: What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A: "Let's get glowing."
Q: What monster wears the most clothes?
A: A werewolf!
Q: What do skeletons say before they start to eat?
A: Bone appetite.

More Halloween

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  • Halloween Stationery
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  • Halloween History
  • When is Halloween?
  • Halloween Postcards

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