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Q: What's a monster's favorite play?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet!

Q: What's a haunted chicken?
A: A poultry-geist!

Q: What do witches put on their hair?
A: Scare spray!

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi!

Q: Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A: Because everyone was a goblin!

Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music?
A: Rap music.

Q: Why didn't the mummy have any friends?
A: Because he was wrapped up in himself!

Q: What road has the most ghosts haunting it?
A: A dead end!

Q: Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
A: Because people are dying to get in!

Q: What do ghosts eat on Halloween?
A: Ghoulash!

Q: Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A: MaliBOO!

Q: What does a bird say at Halloween?
A: "Twick or tweet."

Q: Where do ghosts go when they're sick?
A: To the witch doctor!

Q: What position does a ghost play in soccer?
A: Ghoulie!

Q: What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
A: Prank-enstein!

Q: What room is useless for a ghost?
A: A living room!

Q: Why don't bats live alone?
A: They like to hang out with their friends!

Q: What animal is good at cricket?
A: A bat!

Q: What do little monsters eat?
A: Alpha-bat soup!

Q: What do ghosts use to clean their hair?
A: Sham-boo!

Q: Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A: A scare center!

Q: What key opens a Haunted House?
A: A spooKEY!

Q: Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A: He was a pain in the neck!

Q: Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend.

Q: What does a panda ghost eat?
A: Bam-BOO!

Q: What breed of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!

Q: What's big, scary, and has three wheels?
A: A monster riding a tricycle!

Q: Which witch is good when it's dark?
A: A lights-witch!

Q: What's the best way to talk to a monster?
A: From afar!

Q: What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A: Fang mail.

Q: What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A: His transparents.

Q: What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A: Lazy bones!

Q: What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A: "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q: What do you do with a green monster?
A: Wait until he's ripe!

Q: What do witches ask for at hotels?
A: Broom service!

Q: What animal is best at baseball?
A: A bat!

Q: Which circus performers can see in the dark?
A: The acro-bats!

Q: Where should a 500 pound monster go?
A: On a diet!

Q: Why didn't the zombie go to school?
A: He felt rotten!

Q: Why did the cyclops stop teaching?
A: Because he only had one pupil!

Q: Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
A: Because there are so many plots there!

Q: What did Dracula say about his girlfriend?
A: It was love at first bite!

Q: Why did the vampire flunk art class?
A: Because he could only draw blood!

Q: What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A: A blood test!

Q: What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A: A nectarine.

Q: What pants do ghosts wear?
A: BOO jeans.

Q: What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A: A mop.

Q: Why did the mummy get a headache?
A: Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q: Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A: The BOO-hamas!

Q: What is the problem with two twin witches?
A: You never know which witch is which!

Q: What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?
A: A chicken sand witch.

Q: What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A: A pumpkin patch.

Q: Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A: Because you can see right through him.

Q: Who won the zombie war?
A: Nobody, it was dead even.

Q: What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
A: Fish and ships!

Q: What did the skeleton order for dinner?
A: Spare ribs!

Q: What's a monster's favorite place to swim?
A: Lake Eerie!

Q: How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A: Tickle her funny bone!

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn't have the guts.

Q: What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A: A wide scream TV.

Q: What school subject is a witch good at?
A: Spelling.

Q: What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A: "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q: Why did Dracula go to the library?
A: He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!

Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: I scream.

Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away her W.

Q: Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A: Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: Dayscare!

Q: Where does Dracula keep his money?
A: In a blood bank!

Q: What do witches put on their bagels?
A: Scream cheese!

Q: Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
A: Because he was out standing in his field!

Q: Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A: Because he had no body to go with.

Q: What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A: "Let's get glowing."

Q: What monster wears the most clothes?
A: A werewolf!

Q: What do skeletons say before they start to eat?
A: Bone appetite.

Q: Why do witches fly on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q: What do you call witches who live together?
A: Broom-mates!

Q: Why are graveyards noisy?
A: Because of all the coffin!

Q: What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?
A: Straw-berries!

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