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Valentine's Day Jokes

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Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?
A: I'm stuck on you!
Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
A: A stamp.
Q: Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A: Because it's all heart.
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
A: His ghoul-friend.
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.
Q: What happens when you fall in love with a french chef?
A: You get buttered up.
Q: What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A: Ughs and kisses!
Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A: I find you very attractive.
Q: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
A: I love you a ton!
Q: What did one pickle say to the other?
A: You mean a great dill to me.
Q: What do you call a very small Valentine?
A: A Valentiny!
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.
Q. What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?
A. Let me call you Tweet heart!
Q. What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?
A. You're purrr-fect for me!
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.
Q: What is a ram's favorite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear.
Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?
A: Antelope.
Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A: Hogs and Kisses!
Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A: Sure, they're very scent-imental!
Q: Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?
A: Because you can really party hearty!
Q: What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A: "I'm sweet on you!"
Q: What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
A: "I love you with all my art!"
Q: What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?
A: Cauliflowers!
Q: Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
A: He fell in love with a pin cushion!
Q: What did the pencil say to the paper?
A: I dot my i's on you!
Q: What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day?
A: Owl be yours!
Q: What did one light bulb say to the other?
A: I love you a whole watt!
Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A: You're fun to hang around with.
Q: What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A: I'm sweet on you!
Q: What did one pickle say to the other?
A: You mean a great dill to me.
Q: What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine’s Day?
A: I’m nuts about you!
Q: What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day?
A: My heart beats for you!
Q: What did the ghost say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A: Be my Valenslime!
Q: What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine’s Day?
A: You can count on me!
Q: What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A: Be my Valenstein!
Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day?
A: You’re not so baaaa-d!
Q: What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine’s Day?
A: You are bee-utiful!
Q: What did the boy bear say to the girl bear on Valentine’s Day?
A: I love you beary much!
Q: What did the whale say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A: Whale you be mine!
Q: What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A: Somebunny loves you!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sherwood
Sherwood who?
Sherwood like to be your Valentine!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Atlas
Atlas who?
Atlas, it's Valentine’s Day!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Emma
Emma who?
Emma hoping I get lots of cards on Valentine’s Day!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Luke
Luke who?
Luke who got a Valentine!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jimmy
Jimmy who?
Jimmy a little kiss!

More Valentine's Day

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  • Valentine's Day
  • Valentine's Day Coloring Pages
  • Valentine's Day Games
  • Valentine's Day Videos
  • Valentine's Day Jokes
  • Valentine's Day Worksheets
  • Valentine's Day Books
  • Valentine's Day Stationery
  • Valentine's Day Links
  • Valentine's Day Crafts
  • Valentine's Day History
  • When is Valentine's Day?
  • Valentine's Day Postcards

Game Spotlight

Play games, win ourWorld money, and get clothing and accessories to create your own style.

Conversation Heart Candy Jigsaw Puzzle

Put the jigsaw puzzle pieces together to form a picture of Valentine Conversation Hearts Candy.

Valentine Match Game

Match all of the pictures to win.

Valentine's Day Word Search

Each word on the list is hidden in the pool of letters. Words may be hidden horizontally, vertically, diagonally, forward, or backward.

Sweet Treats Bakery

Sarah is working at the Sweet Treats Bakery and needs to create all the treats in time for Valentine's Day. Help her bake and create all the goodies before time runs out!

Valentine Hunt

The Cupids have been busy spreading love and hiding Valentine Hearts. Can you find all 5 hearts?

Valentine Chocolate Cake

You've got a date—with deliciousness!

Meet My Valentine 2

Love conquers all on Valentine's Day!

Valentine Pizza: Sara's Cooking Class

Valentine's Day + romance = yummy heart-shaped pizza!

Red Velvet Cake: Sara's Cooking Class

Recreate this rich, three-tiered tower of temptation!

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