Enjoy our collection of Christmas jokes, riddles and one-liners. After having a laugh, check out our Valentine's Day Games.
For more holiday fun, visit our main Valentine's Day page and learn about the history of Valentine's Day. Find fun activities like Valentine's Day videos and Valentine's Day coloring pages.
For more holiday fun, visit our main Valentine's Day page and learn about the history of Valentine's Day. Find fun activities like Valentine's Day videos and Valentine's Day coloring pages.
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?
A: I'm stuck on you!
A: I'm stuck on you!
Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
A: A stamp.
A: A stamp.
Q: Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A: Because it's all heart.
A: Because it's all heart.
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: What did one volcano say to the other?
A: I lava you.
A: I lava you.
Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
A: His ghoul-friend.
A: His ghoul-friend.
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.
A: Because it couldn't get a date.
Q: What happens when you fall in love with a french chef?
A: You get buttered up.
A: You get buttered up.
Q: What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A: Ughs and kisses!
A: Ughs and kisses!
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.
Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A: I find you very attractive.
A: I find you very attractive.
Q: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
A: I love you a ton!
A: I love you a ton!
Q: What did one pickle say to the other?
A: You mean a great dill to me.
A: You mean a great dill to me.
Q: What do you call a very small Valentine?
A: A Valentiny!
A: A Valentiny!
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.
A: You turn me on.
Q: What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?
A: Let me call you Tweet heart!
A: Let me call you Tweet heart!
Q: What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?
A: You're purrr-fect for me!
A: You're purrr-fect for me!
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
Q: How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: What is a ram's favorite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear.
A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear.
Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?
A: Antelope.
A: Antelope.
Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A: Hogs and Kisses!
A: Hogs and Kisses!
Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A: Sure, they're very scent-imental!
A: Sure, they're very scent-imental!
Q: Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?
A: Because you can really party hearty!
A: Because you can really party hearty!
Q: What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A: "I'm sweet on you!"
A: "I'm sweet on you!"
Q: What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
A: "I love you with all my art!"
A: "I love you with all my art!"
Q: What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?
A: Cauliflowers!
A: Cauliflowers!
Q: Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
A: He fell in love with a pin cushion!
A: He fell in love with a pin cushion!
Q: Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
A: She stole his heart.
A: She stole his heart.
Q: What did the pencil say to the paper?
A: I dot my i's on you!
A: I dot my i's on you!
Q: What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day?
A: Owl be yours!
A: Owl be yours!
Q: What did one light bulb say to the other?
A: I love you a whole watt!
A: I love you a whole watt!
Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A: You're fun to hang around with.
A: You're fun to hang around with.
Q: What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A: I'm sweet on you!
A: I'm sweet on you!
Q: What did one pickle say to the other?
A: You mean a great dill to me.
A: You mean a great dill to me.
Q: What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day?
A: I'm nuts about you!
A: I'm nuts about you!
Q: What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine's Day?
A: My heart beats for you!
A: My heart beats for you!
Q: What did the ghost say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
A: Be my Valenslime!
A: Be my Valenslime!
Q: What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine's Day?
A: You can count on me!
A: You can count on me!
Q: What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
A: Be my Valenstein!
A: Be my Valenstein!
Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day?
A: You're not so baaaa-d!
A: You're not so baaaa-d!
Q: What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine's Day?
A: You are bee-utiful!
A: You are bee-utiful!
Q: What did the boy bear say to the girl bear on Valentine's Day?
A: I love you beary much!
A: I love you beary much!
Q: What did the whale say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
A: Whale you be mine!
A: Whale you be mine!
Q: What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
A: Somebunny loves you!
A: Somebunny loves you!
Q: Knock Knock. … Who's there? … Olive. … Olive who?
A: Olive you!
A: Olive you!
Q: Knock Knock. … Who's there? … Sherwood. … Sherwood who?
A: Sherwood like to be your Valentine!
A: Sherwood like to be your Valentine!
Q: Knock Knock. … Who's there? … Pooch. … Pooch who?
A: Pooch your arms around me!
A: Pooch your arms around me!
Q: Knock Knock. … Who's there? … Atlas. … Atlas who?
A: Atlas, it's Valentine's Day!
A: Atlas, it's Valentine's Day!
Q: Knock Knock. … Who's there? … Emma. … Emma who?
A: Emma hoping I get lots of cards on Valentine's Day!
A: Emma hoping I get lots of cards on Valentine's Day!
Q: Knock Knock. … Who's there? … Luke. … Luke who?
A: Luke who got a Valentine!
A: Luke who got a Valentine!
Q: Knock Knock. … Who's there? … Frank. … Frank who?
A: Frank you for being my friend!
A: Frank you for being my friend!
Q: Knock Knock. … Who's there? … Jimmy. … Jimmy who?
A: Jimmy a little kiss!
A: Jimmy a little kiss!
More Valentine's Day
Put this jigsaw puzzle together to reveal a picture of Valentine Conversation Hearts Candy.
Stimulate your brain with a classic game of word search featuring Thanksgving vocabulary words! Each word on the list is hidden in the pool of letters. Words may be hidden horizontally, vertically, diagonally, forward, or backward. The words are randomly placed in the puzzle, so you can play it over and over again.
Sarah is working at the Sweet Treats Bakery and needs to create all the treats in time for Valentine's Day. Help her bake and create all the goodies before time runs out!
The Cupids have been busy spreading love and hiding Valentine Hearts. Can you find all 5 hearts?
