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Christmas Jokes

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For more holiday fun, visit our main Christmas page and learn about the history of Christmas. Find fun activities like Christmas videos, postcards, and Christmas coloring pages.
Q: Name the child's favorite Christmas king?
A: A stocking.
Q: Why can't the Christmas tree stand up?
A: It doesn’t have legs.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.
Q: What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A: A Christmas Quacker.
Q: What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A: Santa Pause!
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
Q: How do you scare a snowman?
A: You get a hairdryer!
Q: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A: Nothing, it was on the house!
Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A: A puddle!
Q: Why does Santa have three gardens?
A: So he can go HOE HOE HOE.
Q: What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Kringle.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q: Why is Santa so good at karate?
A: Because he has a black belt!
Q: What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A: A humbug.
Q: What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A: Tinsilitis!
Q: What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A: Nothing, reindeer can't talk.
Q: What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A: Pineapple.
Q: Which elf was the best singer?
A: ELFis Presley.
Q: How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A: You can sense his presents.
Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A: "Looks like rain, dear."
Q: Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A: Santa Jaws.
Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elf-abet.
Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A: Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Q: What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A: Silent Night.
Q: How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
A: Fleece Navidad!
Q: Where do mistletoe go to become famous?
A: "Holly" wood!
Q: Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
A: Because of all the wrapping!

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