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President's Day Jokes

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Unscramble the pieces to make a picture of the Seal of the President of the United States of America. The Presidential Seal is the official symbol of the office of the President of the United States.

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Q: Which one of Washington's officers had the best sense of humor?
A: Laughayette!
Q: Why did they call Lincoln "Honest Abe"?
A: Because that's what it said on all his campaign buttons.
Q: What would you get if you crossed a whale with the first US president?
A: Large Washington!
Q: Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
A: Because he couldn't lie.
Q: Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
A: At the chopping mall!
Q: What do you call George Washington's false teeth?
A: Presidentures!
Q: What was General Washington's favorite tree?
A: The infantry!
Q: In what way was George Washington like a monster?
A: In no way, thankfully!
Q: What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?
A: George Washingtoon!
Q: Was General Washington a handsome man?
A: Yes, he was George-eous!
Q: What would George Washington be if he were alive today?
A: Really, really, really old!
Q: Did you hear the one about the crooked George Washington?
A: He committed Valley Forgery!
Q: How did George Washington speak to his army?
A: In general terms!
Q: What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth U.S. president?
A: Ape Lincoln!
Q: Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard?
A: He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill.
Q: What rock group has four guys who don't sing?
A: Mount Rushmore!
Q: What would you get if you crossed Washington's home with nasty insects?
A: Mt. Vermin!
Q: What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
A: The Fodder of Our Country!
Q: What was Thomas Jefferson's favorite dessert?
A: Monti jello!
Teacher: "Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?"
Student: "I think it was Thomas Jeffer's son."
Q: What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?
A: Babe Lincoln!
Q: How did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil?
A: After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!
Teacher: "John, do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?"
Student: "No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!"
Q: Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat?
A: To keep his head warm!
Q: What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?
A: Abraham Stincoln!
Q: Why was Abraham Lincoln born in a log cabin?
A: Because it was too cold to be born outside!
Q: Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?
A: They're both on the (s)cent!
Q: If you crossed a vegetable with our first president, what would you get?
A: George Squashington!
Q: What did Washington ask as he crossed the Delaware?
A: "How much did the reserved seats cost?"
Q: Why did George Washington put a chicken on guard duty?
A: He wanted to have "chicken catch a Tory."
Q: What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?
A: One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill.
Teacher: Why did Washington chop down the cherry tree with a hatchet?
Student: Because he couldn’t find the chain saw.

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Unscramble the pieces to make a picture of the Seal of the President of the United States of America.

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Put together the pieces in this White House jigsaw puzzle.

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Unscramble the pieces to make a picture of Abraham Lincoln.

Washington Slide Puzzle

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